Lately I have totally been struggling with many different things. But what I have really been struggling with is my life in general nothing seems right!! I can not seem to get in control of it. It controls me and I just can not take it anymore. We had an enrichment meeting a couple weeks ago it was on organizing you life your things and everything like that. I seriously went home and cried my little head off. I thought I need to go and listen and maybe get some great ideas but no I went home and felt like CRAP because well my house is totally out of control and my priorities are all messed up and My kids run wild and well the list goes on and on!!!! Holy Cow I am only 24 and I feel like a haggard old lady. Sometimes I wonder I am only 24 and I already have so much stress and so many problems what am I going to be like when I am 40. Its a scary thought for me. I watch all these Moms that live around me and ask myself they all seem to live the orderly structured care free lives. Ok you are not suppose to envy people but right now heck yeah I envy everyone of them. HOW THE HECK DO THEY DO IT!! Most days I seriously have no energy to get my butt out of bed! To cook my family breakfast or to even get the kids dressed most days. I have no clue were to even began to start!!! I feel like I am always yelling at my kids and at Aaron. Hr probably is thinking what did I marry. Seriously.
Another thing for those of you who dont know I haven't always been active in the church and now I am. I know this is going to sound really bad but sometimes I wonder if life would just be easier to not be. Most of the time I feel like its pressure for me to be doing all these glorious things that I cant do. I try and I try and I almost feel like I am let down. ( Does that make sense ) I really hate going to church and hearing all these people tell these great stories how they had revelations or whatever. Ok people not everyone is that lucky! Maybe I am doing something wrong but man would that great man above give a girl a break.
I have never been this way. I have always been the one in control. I used to drive Aaron crazy when we first got married because I could not go to bed with out the pillows on the couch just right or if there was a glass in the sink. Financially I new where every penny went. And know who cares, but thats my point I do care and its driving me totally crazy. I feel totally physically mentally and spiritual lost. I have no clue where to began to start!!!!!!!!
So I guess the reason I wanted to post this was to here if anyone had any great Ideas to help me out!!! I need a change in my life for myself and my family. They really are the ones suffering. I SERIOUSLY NEED HELP.
3 comments:
Well, I'm not offended. I just sat in my car for 5 minutes and ate an ice cream sandwich to get away. It has been one of those days and I really needed to step away from it. The ice cream sandwich and 5 minutes was over way too fast but I did come back inside somewhat refreshed. <> At least I vacuumed after that small break.
Krystal, I wish you could see yourself as I see you, better yet, as your Heavenly Father sees you. He is pleased with all of your efforts and he knows you are doing your best. I'm impressed with your talents and abilities. I think you would feel better if you just came to my house and saw how disorganized and messy it is on a daily basis. I don't feel much control over my life lately either but I do know what helps me and that is finding a time in the day to exercise and read the scriptures. Do these things happen everyday? No, but I know that tomorrow comes and I can try again. It helps me to connect with other moms too. These years with little ones will not last and eventually we will have clean kitchen floors again (but empty beds too). Hang in there and definitely keep coming to church! I know I am not the only one that would miss you! At least for me going to church grounds me and reminds me WHY motherhood is so important and keeps me with that ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE in mind.
BTW, you are a fantastic activity days leader! Thank you for all you do. I loved the project Maryn came home with this week. What you do matters!
(((HUGS)))
Robyn
I think that everyone puts on a good act and if we were all honest, alot of us feel the same way you do. Make a list of the things you want to work on, and pick the most important to you, work on it for a couple wks, then move on to the next thing. Also, I think reading Pres. Uchtdorf's message from the saturday morning of this last conference might help!
I just want to tell you how much I love you and am thankful that I have you for a friend. I was just telling my mom today that I love you that you would do anything for anyone in a second. You are so talented and I know that alot of people look at you (including me) and wish that they could do half the things that you can. You are so talented. The Lord has blessed you with SO MANY talents. I look at the activity days girls and think how lucky they are to have you! You plan amazing things for them if they only realized how lucky they are. So I will do whatever I can to help you. Thank you for all you have done for me. I feel like I owe you something back but I have nothing to offer. I agree about Pres. Uchtdorf's talk it was amazing. Just know that you are an amazing person and your worth is great in the eyes of many!!!!
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